Why people settle

Why people settle

Settling for less than you deserve is a sign that you don’t feel worthy of living your best life. Each day, we work hard for the things we desire in life, but often times, people sell themselves short. But why? I can think of 6 reasons:

1. You can’t fathom life being any better than it is right now. You’re so set in your ways that you can’t think of bigger possibilities. You are so comfortable in the right now that you can’t entertain the next level.

2. You are insecure. You have doubts that you deserve anything greater than what you currently have. Maybe someone or something in your past has made you believe this to be true-or maybe you’ve always struggled with self-esteem issues.

3. You allow time to rule your destiny. You rush into something because you don’t believe that something better will come along. You will gladly settle for a piece of the pie if you can’t see the big picture just to get a taste.

4. You’re stuck in a situation that is hindering your from growing or stepping into the next phase of your life. Sometimes we form bad habits or entertain sour relationships in an effort to find happiness within those things because it’s easier than pursuing something new.

5. You self-sabotage when things start to feel uncomfortable. Change can feel foreign, and instead of embracing it, you start to compare it to your past and often talk yourself out of your own happiness. It’s a way to not feel guilt over giving up on something that could be better for you in the long-term.

6. It’s easier to just give up. Instead of fighting for what is yours, you make excuses, lack focus and ultimately let go of it. It’s easier to quit and some of us aren’t up for a fight.

So many people struggle to push themselves in a direction that can change their lives for the better, because they fear change. They may complain about their current situation or make excuses for why they’re in the position their in because it’s easier than taking responsibility. Some people may even have an opportunity before them but they find a way to dismiss it in order to remain in their comfort zone.

Whether it is you or someone you know struggling with the curse of “settling for less”, know that there are ways to beat it. How can you overcome this? I have five easy suggestions:

1. Identify the problem. Without understanding what you are settling less for, it’s difficult to change your frame of mind. Whatever it is: your health, your finances, your friendships-determine the issue. Start with the one thing that is most important to you or start with an easy fixer, if you’re having trouble finding the motivation to get started. Don’t overwhelm yourself trying to revamp you entire life at once.

2. Determine the why. Think about the current state of this situation. What don’t you like about it? What could be better? Now, write down what your ideal outlook on this situation is. Be ambitious and be honest. Compare the two lists.; they are probably very different. Now which list do you think you deserve? If you don’t pick the ideal list, ask yourself why you don’t think you deserve that. Once you know why you have been so content with this current situation, the closer you are to the next step…

3. Acknowledge patterns and recognize what has been holding you back. Often times, we settle for the same types of things, for the same reasons, and keep getting similar outcomes. Is your situation driven by the relationships you keep, the time you allot for your goals, or your own

lack of motivation? Are you chasing someone else’s dream? Is there something you’re missing? If you can’t recognize your hurdles, how can you ever get past them?

4. Create a plan of action. What is your end goal? Once your figured out your target, think of a realistic timeline that will challenge you, but is also reasonable. Then, determine what things you have to do between now and then to create and embrace that change. Chunking tasks into manageable pieces will make this transition feel natural and hopefully give you less room to make excuses for why ‘this isn’t for you’. If might be scary at first, but challenges bring about good things.

5. Finally, begin executing your plan! Whatever it is you want, you can have it. The first hurdle is believing it can be yours and that you deserve it. Being able to sift through constructive cristism and bad advice isn’t’ always easy but you have to take control over your life and you path through it. In any moment of doubt, try to visualize the life your want for yourself and continue to push.

The road won’t always be easy, but I promise you that it was be worth it. I will leave you with this quote by Ashley Fern,

“Mediocrity is a place where people often get stuck and do not know how to escape. In order to move from this place, one must think differently, get rid of what hasn’t worked, connect with those who can give sound direction, design a plan of action and put that plan in motion.”

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